10 rules of Indian busdriving!
Bus outside Auroville
There is no such thing as a full bus!
Always use use the horn, preferably every 20 seconds and hold
it down for as long as possible. If it gets tiring lifting your
hand on and off the horn, just rest your arm constantly on the
When overtaking another vehicle, make sure you do it before a
curve (the sharper, the better), a hilltop, or to make it really
exciting, at the same time as another bus coming the opposite
way is also overtaking a big vehicle!
Always start driving before people get properly on or off the
Don't tell any new passengers that hop on he bus along the way,
where you are going, until it is too late for them to jump off,
in case they were on the wrong bus)- they will then have to pay
you to let them off again, since they did such a silly thing as
going on the wrong bus??!
When driving down very steep and curvy hillsides, always accelerate
before the curves, especially at night.
Don't stop for pee-breaks until half the bus is begging you on
their knees to stop. Then let them off at the roadside bushes.
Chew paan, cough and spit as grossly as you can, regularly out
Drive fast over any bumps...hm...or better, just drive fast as
a general rule...
If there are small things in your way like; goats, cows, people,
cyclists or motorbikes, just blow the horn, don't even think about
using the breaks. If they get hit, it is their fault, since you
already warned them with the horn (nevermind the fact that the
horn would probably frighten any living thing to fall off the
bike or off their feat for that matter)!